I used to over-explain everything. That was so tiring, I can tell you that much. I thought if I said it the right way, softer voice, measured tone, fewer words, my family or ex would finally hear me. They didn’t. They just heard vulnerability. And they used it. Narcissists don’t listen to understand. They listen ... Read more
The first time I said it out loud, my narcissistic ex’s face froze. For once, he didn’t know what to say, that was awesome, and I didn’t flinch. I dated a narcissist for six months. Not long enough to destroy me, but just enough to make me question everything I thought I knew about love. ... Read more
For most of my adult life, I thought I was just overly sensitive because I’m an overthinker in nature. I’d brace for rejection and overthink every decision. I told myself I was anxious, cautious, and introverted. But it wasn’t just my wiring. Those fears had fingerprints on them. They weren’t random. They were rehearsed, repeated, ... Read more
“I didn’t escape narcissistic abuse by raising my voice — I escaped by asking the one question no one’s supposed to ask in a toxic family.” It was a holiday. Chaos. Passive-aggression served with pie. My uncle made a “joke” at my expense, and everyone laughed like it was harmless, like it was normal. I ... Read more
Letting go of my narcissistic family didn’t magically fix everything. I wish it did. It would make things a lot easier for me. But it gave me the space to finally start healing, on my terms. I didn’t walk out of that house and become whole overnight. What happened instead was quieter, slower, but far ... Read more
“Narcissists don’t lie by saying too little, they lie by saying exactly what you want to hear.” I used to fall for words. The right ones made me stay. The clever ones made me doubt myself. The charming ones made me forgive what I shouldn’t have. I thought I was smart, and I am, but ... Read more
I thought I was the problem. I thought I just needed to try harder when it comes to my narcissistic family. My mother had this way of making me believe that everything wrong in our relationship was because I was too much, or not enough. For years, I shrank myself into someone she might finally ... Read more
I wasn’t the kind of woman who yelled. I was the kind who explained. Who reasoned. Who cried when reason didn’t work and cried harder when silence did. I rewrote text messages a dozen times to sound “less harsh.” I practiced softness like survival. I wanted to be understood, not feared, and not hated. I ... Read more
You see the narcissist at work, charming the room while you sit there feeling dismissed, emotional, and unheard. They make eye contact, crack jokes, and offer compliments. People gravitate toward them. Meanwhile, you’re in the corner, trying to steady your breathing, wondering how someone so harmful in private can be so adored in public. You’ve ... Read more
For years, I accepted apologies from my narcissistic family that were actually full-on manipulation. I thought being forgiving made me good. Turns out, it just made me look like not a very smart person. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” “That wasn’t my intention.” “You’re too sensitive.” I nodded, smiled, and said, “It’s okay.” Even ... Read more
