How To Stay Consistent In Your Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t just about knowing what to do—it’s about doing it consistently.

And let’s be real: that’s the hardest part.

One day, you’re motivated. The next, life gets in the way. Before you know it, you’re stuck in the same cycle, wondering why nothing’s changing.

But here’s the truth, healing doesn’t happen when you feel like it. It happens when you commit to showing up, even when you don’t.

So how do you stay consistent in your healing without falling back into old patterns?

I’ve spent years figuring this out, and today, I’m sharing the exact shifts that make consistency effortless.

1. Treat Healing Like a Daily Habit, Not an Occasional Task

Most people believe they’ll heal faster if they take “off days” when things feel overwhelming.

• “I’ll journal when I have time.”
• “I’ll start setting boundaries once I feel more confident.”
• “I’ll focus on my healing when life calms down.”

But here’s what actually happens, every time you take a break, you make it harder to restart.

Healing is easier when it becomes part of who you are.

• Instead of waiting for motivation, build a non-negotiable habit.
• Even on your hardest days, do something, even if it’s just a deep breath or writing one sentence in your journal.
• Healing daily rewires your brain to make progress automatic.

2. Willpower Fades, So Use This Instead

If you rely on motivation, you will fail.

Why? Because willpower isn’t a long-term strategy. It’s like a phone battery, it drains throughout the day.

Instead of forcing yourself to push through, build a system that removes resistance.

• Do your healing work first thing in the morning.
• Stack your healing habits onto things you already do. (Ex: Journal while drinking coffee.)
• Make it impossible to skip. (Set reminders, join accountability groups, and keep a daily streak going.)

3. Stop Trying to Heal Everything at Once

A huge mistake people make?

Trying to fix every wound overnight.

Healing is like strength training:

• You don’t go from lifting 5 lbs to 100 lbs in one day.
• You start small, build consistency, and gradually increase intensity.

This is what I call Progressive Overload Healing:

• Start with one small daily healing habit.
• Once that feels easy, add another.
• Over time, healing becomes effortless.

Inside The Next Chapter, I walk you through exactly how to structure this process, so you don’t burn out or quit.

4. Healing Is Easier When You’re Not Doing It Alone

Healing is lonely. And let’s be honest, most people in your life don’t get it.

That’s why having accountability changes everything.

• Find one person who supports your healing.
• Create a Healing Check-In Chat where you message each other daily.
• Simply type “Done” when you complete your daily healing practice.

Something as simple as knowing someone else is expecting your check-in can be the difference between quitting and pushing through.

If you’re struggling while healing, you’re not alone. Join our Facebook group and be part of the community that gets it.

5. If You Miss a Day, Don’t Try to “Make Up for It”

Listen, you’re going to have off days. That’s normal.

But the worst thing you can do?

Trying to “make up for it” by overloading the next day.

This leads to burnout, guilt, and eventually quitting.

Instead:

• Accept that you missed a day.
• Pick up where you left off, without punishment.
• Keep moving forward.

Healing isn’t about being perfect. It’s about not quitting when it gets messy.

6. Focus on Your Progress, Not Your Starting Point

Too many survivors get discouraged because they compare themselves to others.

• “She healed faster than me.”
• “I should be over this by now.”
• “Why am I still struggling?”

Stop focusing on where you are. Focus on the fact that you’re moving forward.

• Are you stronger than you were last year?
• Are you setting boundaries more often?
• Are you slowly rebuilding your confidence?

If the answer is yes, you’re winning. Keep going.

7. The Secret to Healing? Just Keep Showing Up.

Healing isn’t always exciting.
It isn’t always pretty.
It isn’t always linear.

But here’s what I know for sure:

The person who keeps showing up, almost always wins.

• Show up when it’s hard.
• Show up when no one understands.
• Show up when you don’t feel like it.
• Show up for you.

Because when you do? Your life changes.

And if you’re ready to stop starting over and finally build momentum in your healing journey, you might be interested in The Next Chapter program. You’ll get a structure, accountability, and a system to keep going, even when it’s hard.