I believe we’re all overthinkers at some point in our lives, whether we are aware of it or not that is another problem. I used to overthink anything and everything. It was like a good feeling that I must have in order to function at work and especially in my relationship. How to stop overthinking in a relationship?
I thought it would be impossible for me to get rid of such an ugly and addictive habit. But like everything else, practice makes perfect, if you train your mind with the right amount of effort, overthinking doesn’t have to be part of your life.
Writing this article really brought back a lot of bitter memories of how I used to be.
I overanalyzed every little detail about what my boyfriend said and how he expressed his feelings when we were together. It became so sickening that I realized if I didn’t do anything about it, this addiction would consume my life and I will be the only one to blame.
Table of Contents
Why is Overthinking an Addiction?
The book by Dr. Sian Beilock Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To explains this astoundingly fatiguing phenomenon by quoting golf studies. As surprising as it may sound, they make a perfect analogy.
When a professional golfer starts thinking in the field, she says, he is just one thought shy of missing the hole and losing the game. It’s because sometimes our mind paralyzes our body, anxiously crippling it in only a second or two. Usually, the fear of failure is the one to blame.
Overthinking is a golfer’s paralysis prolonged. As numerous empirical studies have shown, it is a strategy we use when we start losing control. Mistakes terrify us, the uncertainty is perplexing, and there’s so much that can go wrong. So, we think about it all the time.
I remember clearly watching my sister cry on a golf court because she couldn’t play as well as I did. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a better player but what made me win the games was because I didn’t care about it, so I didn’t overthink it. I was there to have fun.
10 Ways on How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship?
I’m not here to tell you there is magic to stop all this now and forever but I’m here to share with you, my personal tips on how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
So let’s be honest with yourself and take a step the right direction with these below suggestions.
1. Talk Things Out with Your Partner
So, here’s your first assignment: propose a tête-à-tête as soon as today. Overthinking has made you a prisoner of your own mind, and the key is in voicing your thoughts. Even in case you two have gone through it before, now is not the time to stop talking things out.
You know your partner’s own mechanisms by heart, so adjust what you have to say to the way they’ll respond. If they’ve accused you of exaggerating your problem in the past, stay calm and proactive and ask them to do a small research. Getting familiar with how addictive behavior works will help them understand you better.
If it gets emotional and ends with a fight, so be it. The ability to communicate your thoughts and emotions is crucial for a healthy relationship, and you should never avoid it. Silence is a lack of motion, but relationships need to grow and move forward in order to endure.
Stay composed, insist on expressing yourself, and be as descriptive as you can. Your partner might feel confused and afraid, so be patient. Being in love means you’re in this together: don’t stop talking before you’re on the same page too.
2. Stop Yourself the Moment You Catch Yourself Over-analyzing Your Partner’s Behaviour
A supportive partner is a much-needed ally in the fight against gloomy thoughts, but only as long as you meet them halfway. Now that you’ve realized how unproductive your worries were and still are, don’t complicate it too much. Stressing out over how to deal with it will pull you straight back in.
Instead, stop yourself the moment you catch your mind getting all riled up. Whether you’re used to overanalyzing your partner’s words, fixating on their Freudian slips, or obsessing about a stranger’s perfume you kept on smelling on them, remind yourself that your assumptions were wrong and your thoughts needlessly defeating.
3. Take Action on Your Insecurities (They Are What Makes You an Over-Thinker in the First Place)
Improving your confidence is a whole other topic, here are some of the activities that can be utilized as a starting point. Silence your inner critic by accepting that nobody’s perfect, and neither are you. Count every small victory in, and prove to yourself that you’ve earned the praise entirely on your own. There’s surely a lot you can appreciate yourself for – if it helps, write it all down.
Also, be proactive! If you’ve realized you’ve been overthinking your partner’s behavior because you were insecure about your looks, hit the gym! Maybe the reason you’ve been stressing about “how they said it” is your own frustration or fear; learn how to shake them off. It’ll take some practice, but as long as you take action and stay positive, you’ll be able to nip your overthinking in the bud.
4. Have Some “Me” Time Every Day
You’ll probably want to avoid those long, silent moments when all the noise in your head overwhelms you. However, this is not when you should run from being alone. Have some “me” time every day, unplug your brain from the TV and phone, and immerse yourself in constructive thoughts.
It’s not until you’re left alone that you can fully tone down and rest your mind. Still, don’t expect that overthinking to stop all by itself. Since the absence of every distraction will tempt your addictive behavior to repeat, your “me” time is perfect for practicing control over your thoughts.
So, try to rationalize. If your partner is not answering your calls, don’t overthink it, but deduce. In case everything’s fine, but your mind keeps on searching for at least one tiny thing to make into a problem, just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let meditation empty your head.
5. Get Together with Friends Who Are Not Over-Thinkers
This is very important that you talk to friends who won’t make matters worse. Your rational friends are probably the last ones to tell you how to stop overthinking in a relationship, but that still doesn’t mean they can’t help. In fact, their sound reasoning is just what you need to overcome all those uncertainties you’ve been obsessing about.
Since so clear-minded, they can and should become your daily portion of reality. The sooner you let go of insisting that your thoughts are so complicated that nobody can understand you, the sooner you’ll be able to balance them out and see your problems for what they really are.
Don’t discard your friends’ opinions, regardless of how harsh or simplified they might seem. Rational people have a whole other perspective on the world, and the truth is always somewhere in between. Listen to what they have to say: in time, their point of view might prove as much-needed relief.
6. 90% of What You Worry about Won’t Happen, So Enjoy Every Intimate Moment
We’ve already discussed how overthinking in a relationship almost always leads to a lack of spontaneity. Surely, it happened to you before – you’re trying to relax and enjoy the moment, but all you can think about are your own thoughts. Awful, right?
The truth is, most of the things you worry about in those moments are simply fragments of your ruminative imagination. Around 90% of your fears won’t actualize, but constantly thinking about them might ruin your relationship. So, instead of overthinking about how to stop overthinking in a relationship, try to be mindful and present in the moment.
That’s why regaining control of your mind is so incredibly important. Love isn’t only about making plans and solving problems; more than anything else, it is about nurturing trust and allowing emotions to flood your thoughts. Don’t let those intimate moments pass you by, but enjoy every second of them.
7. Keep Your Mind Occupied with What Makes You a Great Person
In some aspects, overthinking is similar to depression. If you take a closer look at your patterns, you’ll realize that over-analyzing is nothing but a time delay mechanism: the longer you think about the problem, the more you postpone having to actually act on it.
What this mechanism prevents you from seeing is that – if the problem truly exists – obsessing about it won’t get it solved. Why not skip rumination and get straight to action? However it turns out, it’ll hurt less than spending hours playing out different scenarios over and over again.
Instead, keep your mind occupied with solutions. Work on yourself all the time, and do things that will help you become the person you want to be. Face your challenges, and you’ll become less afraid of your limitations. Start working out, reading more, and worrying about it less.
8. Travel with Your Partner at Least Once a Year
Research shows that vacations improve relationships and allow partners to see one another in a different light. It makes perfect sense since these fast-paced modern times imply a certain tempo that not all couples can endure. Vacations are a brilliant way to escape all that, and finally, find the time to rekindle the romance.
Travel together at least once a year! By experiencing the world hand in hand, you’ll not only be able to have some quality time alone but also adjust your mindsets and stay focused on what truly matters. Traveling changes perspective teaches patience and introduces Serenity, simply by showing you that there’s a great, vast world out there, the world in which your everyday struggles may not be so big after all.
9. Ask Your Partner What Kind of Self-Improvement You Can Do to Keep the Relationship Fresh
Your last assignment is a simple one: learn that sometimes everything you need to do is ask. Your low self-confidence has made you suspicious of your partner’s behavior again? Ask them what’s going on! If your relationship is strong and mature, their answer will be honest and helpful.
After all, there might be some things that really bother them about you. Though you should never change who you really are for another person, being in a relationship requires some compromise. Talk to your partner about their reservations, and see whether or not you can fix them, and how.
And, don’t be too sensitive about it! It’s really important to give your partner a chance to speak their mind, even when what they have to say isn’t so pleasant for you to hear. They doubtlessly mean well, so listen to them. It’s way better than trying to figure out their thoughts all by yourself.
10. Be Someone Who Can Make You Happy
Finally, keep in mind that symbiotic relationships are not very healthy. A strong couple is an alliance between two strong individuals, and you can hardly be a solid partner if you are not a solid person first. Never stop your personal growth for somebody you love – it may only be counterproductive.
If you keep overthinking about whether or not your partner is unhappy with you and why it usually means that you’re not very happy with yourself in the first place. Remember that you are a grown and independent person who has it in them to improve and evolve, which is most certainly what your partner loves you so much.
Addictive Behaviors
Overthinking is no different from OCD if you think about it. Both should make life feel less uncertain, and give us a sense of control and confidence. Only, instead of establishing dominance over things, we’re superintending our thoughts.
In psychology, every behavior triggered by a need that has to be fulfilled, the behavior that hence becomes the most important thing in your life, but causes a conflict between the short-term need to engage in the activity and concerns about the long-term effects it spurs – is defined as addictive.
It’s common to get obsessed with overthinking when we need to be in control of our lives. The problem is – what starts as a strategy that is supposed to calm us down usually ends up tricking us into losing control over our thoughts. The vicious circle begins, with us caught in the middle.
Overthinking is The Number One Relationship Killer
Two of my relationships ended badly because I overthink, sad but I’m sure some of you can relate.
I mean overthinking used to leave consequences in my everyday life and it sucks, it was like I was the only who went crazy while everyone else is enjoying their lives fine.
Like any other addiction, it creeps up on you every time there’s a problem you don’t believe you can solve or fear you don’t have the strength to overcome. But, is it irresistible enough to kill your relationship? Experience says yes.
Overthinking is a barricade between a problem and a solution – having disguised your fear of failure, it makes you sorely cautious, depressingly motionless, and even more anxious than you were and need to be.
Most importantly, it makes you deadlocked. You lose confidence in yourself and trust in your partner. Everything that makes relationships work is no more. The future is no longer about nurturing love and respect; to an over-thinker, it is nothing but a projection of defeat.
The Root of Overthinking is a Low Self-Esteem
You certainly suspect what lies underneath your overwhelming meditations, though it might not be the easiest thing to admit. Compulsive thinking goes hand in hand with shaken self-confidence and occurs every time there’s a reason for you to feel inadequate. If you want to learn how to stop overthinking in a relationship, self-analysis might be a good way to start.
I got cheated on once and that was enough to make a big hole in my confidence, my insecurity amplified, and trust no longer existed.
Looking back, I truly felt bad for my then-boyfriend, if he came home late or he didn’t call when he should, my mind would go off like an alarm clock and the thoughts started to pour and I again found myself in the dark.
When my self-esteem was taken away from me, it took me a year to recover and trust again.
Working on a self-esteem isn’t easy, but I met my boyfriend and now husband who sees me for who I really am.
The one thing I want you to remember is If you lack belief in yourself because of what happened to you in the past, have a little trust in them! Let them plant you in front of the mirror and tell you how beautiful you are, inside and outside alike.
Be Present and Stop Wandering Off
Relationships are hard! They are supposed to be that way, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Leave unconditional love to storytellers, and accept that genuine connection asks for understanding, trust, and respect. If you don’t know how to stop overthinking in your relationship, just ask your partner.
Most importantly, don’t get wrapped up in your head – express your feelings, voice your opinions, articulate your fears, and share your doubts. Overthinking builds a wall of unproductive thoughts around you, while the simplest solution is to talk them through. Stay strong for your partner, but vocal for yourself.
BONUS: I was asked to share the top relationship books that I personally read. So, I decided to do a full review of my five favorite relationship books that guarantee to help you navigate toward a healthy and happier relationship no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in.
Related Posts:
- How To Stop Overthinking in a Long Distance Relationship? My Personal Takes
- How To Apologize for Overthinking in a Relationship? Steps I Took
- Overthinking When Dating: Signs, Causes, and Ways To Nip It for Good!
- How To Stop Overthinking After a First Date? My 11 Ways To Calm Your Nerves
- How to Stop Overthinking When Dating Someone New? Try These Tips
Great post. My partner thinks that I am impatient and overthinker. He also feels I lack focus nd I multitask. I am working on it. Your article is well articulate and informative. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Sonali, I’ve been there once and I know there are many others like you and myself which was why I decided to write this article. I’m glad you found it helpful. My partner used to think I’m impatient and an overthinker and he was right. It’s a challenging habit to fix but it’s doable. My advice to you is figure why you overthink and what’s the trigger? Once you understand these two elements well it will help you work on your problem easier. Cheers. Kolyanne.
Hi thanks for your artical. I am at the moment on a rocky road with my 19 years partner. He done a lot on me for years but we sorted it out but now I’m not able to trust him and I can’t stop my head from over thinkin this situation .he keeps telling me I am gonna drive myself mad and I know I am .so he decided to tell me a month ago he dosnt feel the same way for me but is going to work on it .so I am here trying to get back to being my confidence and strong self .essipcally for my 2 beautiful kids .he is busy at work with meetings and stuff but dosnt seem to want to spend time with us ..any more information would be so grateful .I think my self I could show him that I do trust him after everything he done on me but he has to put the effort in also .
Hi Pauline,
Thank you very much for being so honest with me and our readers. I’m a true believer that the more we share our experiences, the more we can help each other out. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s no one situation is the same and once the kids are involved thing gets harder for a couple to decide what to do without affecting the children negatively. The good news is he is willing to work, the bad news is he is not making time for it when you are 100% in on this relationship. Trust is hard to get back once it’s broken and I can say this from experience with my ex who cheated on me with more than one woman. So don’t be too hard on yourself. What I can suggest you try is to establish a half an hour to an hour with your partner weekly as a start to spend time together as a family. Re-establish what you were doing before that made you and him happy. I would also recommend that you give this book a chance https://amzn.to/2JTNePg as I found it very helpful in gaining trust again. I recommended this book to my client and my girlfriends as well. If you have more questions for me, I would be happy to have a chat one on one with you so please do message me privately if you like at https://www.pinchofattitude.com/contact/ as this is a tough topic and it won’t be resolved in one day. Two things you are right about is you need to gain your confidence back and he needs to put effort into this relationship. Looking forward to hearing from you. Love. Kolyanne.
Hello..Thanks this article is very nice and i am also an Overthinker.. but i am not able to figure out how should i tackle with it. In difficult situation, I start getting many thoughts and there is no limitation.
Hey my name is Holland. I usually don’t comment on to many things but your article is exactly what I’m going through. It’s ruining my relationship with my girl. Everyday it’s a battle. I do good and then bam something triggers me to overthink about it my girl loves me or bit. Your article helped me to realize why this is happening I didn’t understand it before. I’ve been cheated on a few times before so that’s one reason it makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’m doomed to get cheated on. It’s crazy because she’s always doing what she says and she’s faithful. She been telling me for about a month now I’m pushing her away and that kind of makes it worse cause then I’m like ( I pushed her too far she done just waiting to leave me). It’s the hardest thing I feel I ever been through because it hurts her when I do it because she feels like I don’t trust her. When I try to talk to her calm nice and just tell her what’s on my mind she flips out and then I take that the wrong and it’s a never ending cycle. But your article opened my eyes and I’m gonna try everything. Thank you for taking the time to write this article.
Hi Holland! Thank you for your great comment. It’s not easy to overcome what you went through the past that leads you to have a hard time trusting the one you love. However, as long as you are honest and willing to try different approaches to improve your relationship with your partner, you are heading in the right direction. Remember, not only you can make your relationship better, you will also become a better person to yourself and to those around you. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’m the proof of that. Cheers!
I am in the same position
Just what I needed to help me cope with a moment of weakness.
Hi Mya, glad this article helped you. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask. Take care! Kolyanne
Thank you for this list! I have really struggled with overthinking in the past and present, and this is also accelerated by the prevalence of relationship advice on the internet. It is everywhere and bountiful, and so when I am worried about something in real life like having trust issues with my girlfriend, it is easy to go down the rabbit hole searching for the perfect solution to it on the internet which in turn just makes me feel worse usually! Hopefully by overthinking less I can conquer some of that insecurity.
Hey Steph,
Glad you enjoy the article and find it helpful. Overthinking is difficult to overcome but is not impossible. Everything takes time and I believe you can do it.
I am so glad I found your article when I did! I was in tears reading it because it is exactly what I am doing and it makes me scared that I could ruin my relationship with the most amazing guy ever. I am going to definitely work on myself confidence and not over think everything that he says/does. Thank you!
Hi Jenny,
I’m so glad you found the article helpful. It inspires me to write more to help those who are going through what I went through solutions to overcome life challenges.
Hello. I am so glad I found this article when I did! When I was reading it I just felt like you were talking directly to me. Everything that you said I needed to hear. At times I was amazed with the things you said. I appreciate your time and effort with typing this for females and males with relationship problems. You a very big help. I think you should consider making a book. I will support you no doubt about it.
Thanks <3
Thank you Ty’kira and I’m glad you find my article helpful to you.
Hi sweetheart,
What to say ….. Thank u seems such a small word for this artical .
I almost lost myself , life of my husband is also being affected.
Because of ur this write-up I changed completely.
I know I have to make changes but u shown me the path , realising my mistakes at thIs point was very important.
Thank u once again.
Would like to be ur friend .
Hi Neha, thank you for your kind words. Take good care of yourself!
Thank you so much for this article!! It inspired me for becoming a better person, not only in my relationship but also as an individual. I am a big overthinker and now that I know what the problem is, it will be easier to solve it???????????????? thanks again!!
Hey, thank you very much for the sweet comment. I’m so happy that my blog is helping you. This is why I kept on writing. I was a big overthinker myself and I did waste a lot of time sabotaging a lot of good things that happened in my life and thankfully, I overcame it.
Hi! I have just read your blog about how to stop overthinking. Thank you, thank you for sharing this. Just like you, I had been cheated on twice, and I saw it with my eyes that’s why now I can not help but to overthink because of what had happened. On the other hand, just like what you have mentioned, it takes two to tango. People like us need a supportive partner, someone who will be patient if we are overthinking (if we keep on expressing ourselves).
I wrote these on my notes, to actually read this if my “overthinking habbit” comes in again. Thank you again for sharing this. Keep on inspiring people’s lives. God bless!
Hi Beatriz, I’m so proud of you to recognize the problem and work on overcoming the issue. It’s not easy but it will pass. If you have any questions give me a shout via my email. Cheers. Kolyanne
I am an Overthinker! I’m well aware I have a problem, so as a result I have tried to keep this to myself, and am not questioning everything out loud, just to myself. It’s making me ill, as I’m worrying about everything. In my case it’s partially due to being insecure, I’m not ugly but I know there’s more to a person than looks, but it’s also as I’m aware my man has been flirting with others and used to be a player. He says he’s not interested in anyone now he’s met me but there’s always a niggling doubt when I try chatting online and he’s on but not responding, and apologises later. Am reading blogs such as this in a bid to overcome things. I’m just wary of being taken advantage of.
Hi. I just read your blog about how to stop overthinking. I want to say thank you because I can relate so much to all of this. My boyfriend and I recently broke up due to my overthinking ruining our relationship. We still talk and I am trying to work on myself. This article is a big help. So I thank you for sharing and I will definitely put these practices to use.
Hi Sarah, thank you very much for sharing your story with me and I wish you the best of luck with your road to recovery. I’m so happy to hear this article helped you. Take care. Kolyanne.
Thank you so much for writing this. I have sabotaged many relationships because of overthinking. I’ve never read anything more spot on about it. I will save this and re read. I am dating someone new for the first time in a long time and thought I was “healed” (after being cheated on by my boyfriend of 5 years) but I’ve realized I am not anywhere near where I want to be. Thanks again.
My boyfriend and I are having big issues about my overthinking and how I put so many unnecessary scenarios in my head and to be honest I believe more then 90% of our fights are caused by this and my overthinking. Our relationship is going down hill and fast and we have both sat down and talked about how this is really affecting us and if I don’t change soon then it might be the end even if we do love eachother it is just not healthy. So I’ve been reading heaps of things online and your blog is really spot on and I need to start doing all these things otherwise I will lose possibly the best person that has walked into my life. This blog has really put things in perspective and I’ve really enjoyed reading it and I’ll probably keep re-reading it just to help me. Thank you!
Thanks for this article. I am with my boyfriend for past 6+ years and for past 2 years we are having a lot of issues because of his overthinking. He thinks that everything in this world is based on sarcasm and overthinks everything about it. He is always negative thinking about me. Every time we are out, he will just assume that people are hitting on me or i am giving them some reactions through my movements (all this in sarcastic way). We have talked about this many times and he agrees not to do it again. But again some thing happens in his mind because of some unnecessary reason and the loop goes on. I don’t want to loose him because he is my everything now but i am afraid it will end soon if this continues to happen. He also loves me alot but he is overly insecure about me. I dont know how many times i should clear things that its nothing like what he thinks. He will still think the same about me. Maybe if i share this article with help will help him? Idk.
Thank you for this post again.
Don’t give up on him, deep down he knows it’s not true, he knows that you love him, and he knows that what he is thinking out of proportion. Keep discussing and reassuring him, because without conversation and reassurance, it will be hard for him to stop overthinking.
Thanks, Josh, I agree with your comment. Overthinking is a challenge that a lot of people deal with, including myself. So take one day at a time to get better.
even right now am overthinking about my girlfriends behavior of being down every time,gloomy and wouldn’t want to talk to anyone, now that i have read this article, i know it’s going to assist me cope with it..thank you
Hi I’m Kayla
My boyfriend has cheated on me many times and he says he has changed but I dont believe him. I love him but I always feel like he is playing me.i analyze everything he does and if I find anything weird I just think he has started again.
I just cant stop overthinking, because he is acting strange ,doesn’t call anymore ,he doesnt communicate with me and I cant talk to him about how I feel because I’m scared that I might ruin my relationship..
I ain’t the same no more I lost confidence in myself
It’s true when they say life sucks sometimes.In life they are obstacles that will face sometimes the gift of goodbyes opens another door for you.I know it is not easy to let go of something that you love,but I want you to just ask yourself this questions:
1.For how long will I love someone who does not show me love or who does not love me back?
2.Why should I always be worried about other people whereas those people they dont care about me?
Always have confidence in yourself because you are your own boss or let me just say your own queen.Live your life to express not to impress.For how long will you keep impressing people?.This is your life don’t make your life to be complicated whereas its not
Hi Kayla! well I definitely think you have low confidence because if you valued yourself you wouldn’t take him back, he’s lost your trust and even gave you reasons why you shouldn’t trust him. I mean well I really do I’ve been cheated on.
Dear Kayla,
I get you, you might love him but if he cheated many times I think you should breakup with him. I was dating a guy who was toxic and all he did was lie to me, abuse me, say he changed. It wasn’t fun I was with him for a year, because I really thought he could change but he couldn’t. My mental health was going down, and I was so depressed. It’s going to be hard to let him go, but you have to do it. You’re gonna keep thinking of him but you have to try to fight it. Get support from some friends. You deserve better.
I know you posted this a year ago, but I wanted to tell you how helpful this article is. I love my boyfriend with everything I am, but we have been long distance for the last month and will be for the foreseeable future. When we’re face to face I never over think, things were perfect, but now its like I have no idea how to read his texts and I have been overthinking so much. It has caused a couple fights these last two weeks and I can tell that I am pushing him away and that’s the last thing I want. Thank you for writing this I feel so much clearer on what I need to do to improve.
3 years ago*
I’m so happy for you! I’m going to keep posting.
Hi Kayla,
First and foremost, why are you still in a relationship with him if he’s cheated on you many times and still hasn’t changed for the better? Like you said, he doesn’t even bother to contact you or communicate with you…I hate to break it to you like this but it does seem like he’s not putting any genuine effort into the relationship. He still gives you reasons to doubt him so much – not to mention that he has made you lose your self-confidence which is extremely unhealthy! If you really want to continue the relationship you need to talk to him face-to-face about your thoughts, feelings and needs but if he still doesn’t do anything about it…just end it, cuz I personally don’t see why you should be with guy like that. You deserve to be with someone who prioritizes you, someone who puts in his 100% effort into the relationship and never gives you even the tiniest of reasons to doubt his love for you, most importantly someone who makes you realize your worth, constantly inspires you to be the best version of yourself and appreciates you from the first time around. Take care and good luck! 🙂
Hi, I can’t stop overthinking about my boyfriend’s past. He used to be immature and send half naked photos of women as a joke to a group chat we used to be on. That went on for the 4 months we started dating. When I told him I didn’t like him after the 4 months he said he was sorry but then a few weeks later I saw his liked and there they were again. I finally got the courage to tell him that I hurt myself because of the insecurities I have. It’s been a year and 2 months after all of that and I still can’t get over it. I believe he has changed. He has deleted social media for me and done mostly anything to try and help me. Although I stopped hurting myself, the overthinking happens mostly every day. I expect it to happen again. I love him to death and I don’t want my overthinking and insecurities to ruin our relationship.