Ah, first dates. They’re that weird combination of excitement and “oh my God, why am I doing this?”
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent more time agonizing over whether to wear jeans or something slightly more adventurous than you have preparing for actual conversation.
But the key to any good first date? Asking the right questions. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than hitting a dead-end question like “Do you come here often?”
Luckily for you, I’ve got a list of go-to questions that are not only fun and insightful but will also help you gauge whether you’re sitting across from your future partner or a potential “well, it was nice to meet you” situation. Let’s get into it.
1. So, What Do You Get Up to After Work?
This one’s a gem because it’s simple and non-invasive. You’re just casually asking what their typical day looks like after they clock out. Whatever they say, it’s a safe window into their life without sounding like you’re asking for their five-year plan.
Fun fact: I once asked this question and the guy told me he was into “competitive napping.” Honestly, a match made in heaven—until we realized that napping together wasn’t really a sustainable hobby. Still, this question opens the door to their real, unfiltered self.
2. If You Had More Time, What Would You Spend It On?
This question is gold. It’s like asking someone what their dream life looks like without the time constraints of reality. Maybe they’d write a book, maybe they’d finally learn French, or maybe they’d just spend more time perfecting their sourdough bread (not a joke—sourdough is serious business).
I once had someone tell me they wished they could skydive more. I was over here thinking, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive the week.” But it’s always fascinating to hear what they think is a priority in their fantasy world.
3. What Are You Hoping to Get Out of Dating Right Now?
This one’s a little bit like walking a tightrope, but it’s necessary. Don’t let their pretty smile distract you—this question is important. Are they just looking for something casual, or are they hoping to meet “the one”?
There’s nothing worse than thinking you’ve met someone great, only to find out later they’re just here for free dinners. Trust me, better to know upfront.
4. What’s a Skill You Wish You Had?
People love talking about the things they suck at. Ask this, and you’ll probably get some endearing responses. Maybe they’ve always wanted to learn to play guitar but just couldn’t get past “Smoke on the Water.”
Or maybe they want to cook but fear they’ll burn down the kitchen. It’s the kind of question that leads to laughs and maybe even a chance to say, “Hey, let’s take a cooking class together! I promise not to set anything on fire… again.”
5. If Money Wasn’t an Issue, What Would You Do for Work?
Okay, I LOVE this one. Why? Because it gets people talking about what they’re really passionate about—without the pressure of a paycheck.
Maybe they want to open a cat cafe or become a travel blogger, or maybe they just want to sit around watching Netflix all day (no judgment, honestly).
This question gives you a glimpse of what truly makes them tick. And if they say something like, “I’d still be doing what I do now,” either they’re lying, or they’ve truly won at life.
6. What’s on Your Bucket List This Year?
What’s better than hearing someone geek out about the stuff they’re excited for? Whether they’ve got a killer road trip planned or are just jazzed about finally going to that concert, you get to tap into what lights them up.
My last bucket list item was trying paddleboarding. Turns out, I am not a water sports person. But I digress—this question is all about excitement and possibilities.
7. Got Any Trips Coming Up?
This one’s a crowd-pleaser because even if the answer is “no,” people love talking about places they want to visit. Plus, travel stories can either be hilarious or inspiring, sometimes both.
I once had someone tell me they got lost in the jungle on a solo trip to Costa Rica. I was still trying to figure out if I’d ever leave the safety of my couch. Travel stories open up a whole world (literally) of conversation.
8. What’s Your Ideal Weekend Look Like?
Everyone has a different idea of the perfect weekend. Some people love being outdoors, hiking and getting all sweaty. Others (like me) are all about staying in bed until noon with a good book.
This question will help you see if your chill vibes match or if one of you is a party animal while the other is a couch potato. Either way, it’s a lighthearted way to figure out your compatibility in the most important area of life—weekends.
9. What’s Something You Wouldn’t Normally Share on a First Date?
Ooh, this one’s juicy. It forces them to think on their feet, and if you’re lucky, you’ll get a hilarious or heartfelt story out of it.
One time I shared that I once got stuck in an elevator for an hour with a bag of groceries. Great story, even better way to see if they have a sense of humor. It also gives them permission to get real—without the usual first-date filter.
10. When Was Your Last Relationship?
Yes, we’re going there. You want to know if they’re still texting their ex or if they’ve had a clean break. This isn’t about dissecting their past but understanding their timeline. If they’re still hung up on their ex, that’s a red flag you can’t ignore.
11. If You Could Move Anywhere, Where Would You Go?
This is a fun one because it lets you both daydream a little. Maybe they’ve always wanted to live by the ocean or in a bustling city. You get to talk about different places, cultures, and possibly even plan imaginary trips. It’s also a sneaky way to see if your future lifestyle goals might align.
If they say, “I’d love to move to a remote cabin in the woods,” and you’re all about city life, well… you might have some differences to work through.
12. What Sports Do You Do?
No one ever expects this one. And whether they do or don’t, it opens up some hilarious conversation. Maybe they’ll tell you about a time they tried and wiped out, or maybe they’re pros and now you have a cool future date idea. Either way, this question is a good palate cleanser after all the deeper stuff.
Congrats, You’re Now a First Date Jedi
First dates are nerve-wracking enough without having to stress over what to ask. These 12 questions are fun, light, and might even give you some deep insights without turning the date into an interrogation.
Remember, the goal isn’t just to ask the questions, but to enjoy the conversation that comes after. And hey, if the date doesn’t work out, at least you’ll have a few new fun facts about skiing or why weekends should always involve naps.
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