13 Crazy Shits I Had to Overcome While Growing Up With a Narcissistic Mother

Growing up with a narcissistic mother is like living in a twisted reality show where you never know if you’re the star or the scapegoat. One minute you’re a hero, the next you’re a zero. It’s a rollercoaster ride that leaves you questioning your sanity and self-worth.

But hey, you made it through, and here’s how to navigate and thrive despite the chaos.

1. Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting

Imagine constantly being told that your feelings are wrong. That’s gaslighting 101. Narcissistic mothers are pros at this. They twist your reality until you’re dizzy.

Survival Tip: Trust your gut. Keep a journal to validate your experiences and lean on friends who remind you that you’re not crazy.

2. Lack of Empathy and Emotional Support

Need a hug after a bad day? Don’t count on it. Narcissistic moms are about as comforting as a cold shower.

Survival Tip: Find your tribe. Build a support network of friends who genuinely care about your well-being.

3. Constant Criticism and Comparison

No matter what you achieve, it’s never good enough. There’s always someone better, and she won’t let you forget it.

Survival Tip: Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Set your own standards and ditch the need for her approval.

4. Unhealthy Boundaries and Invasion of Privacy

Personal space? What’s that? She’ll read your diary, eavesdrop on your calls, and snoop through your stuff.

Survival Tip: Set firm boundaries. Politely but firmly assert your need for privacy and personal space.

5. Fear of Rejection and Abandonment

Her approval feels like a lifeline, but it’s more like a chokehold. Fear of rejection keeps you on a tightrope.

Survival Tip: Value yourself independently of her approval. Seek validation from within and from supportive people around you.

6. Unpredictable Mood Swings

One moment she’s doting, the next she’s raging. It’s like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Survival Tip: Stay grounded. Maintain your emotional balance and don’t take her mood swings personally.

7. Chronic Guilt and Obligation

She’s a master of guilt trips, making you feel responsible for her happiness and failures.

Survival Tip: Recognize manipulation for what it is. Prioritize your well-being without feeling guilty.

8. Perfectionism and Overachievement

Perfection is the only acceptable standard. Anything less is a failure.

Survival Tip: Accept that it’s okay to be imperfect. Set realistic goals and be kind to yourself.

9. Emotional Drain and Constant Stress

Her demands and criticisms drain your energy, leaving you constantly stressed and exhausted.

Survival Tip: Prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that recharge your batteries and bring you joy.

10. Impact on Sibling Relationships

She pits siblings against each other, fostering competition and resentment.

Survival Tip: Foster open communication and mutual support with your siblings. Stand united against her manipulations.

11. Difficulty in Expressing Emotions

Expressing emotions feels dangerous because they’re often used against you.

Survival Tip: Learn to validate and express your feelings in safe environments, such as therapy or with trusted friends.

12. Finding It Hard to Build Relationships

Trusting others is tough when your primary role model is a master manipulator.

Survival Tip: Take it slow. Build trust gradually and seek relationships with people who respect your boundaries.

13. Breaking the Cycle

Breaking free from the patterns instilled by a narcissistic mother is tough but essential for your well-being.

Survival Tip: Commit to ongoing self-improvement. Surround yourself with supportive people and remember, you’re not your mother.

The Impact Her Self-Centered Behaviour Had On Me

Growing up with a narcissistic mother leaves lasting emotional and psychological scars. Children often face low self-esteem, trust issues, and difficulties forming healthy relationships. Narcissistic mothers prioritize their needs, manipulate and control their children, and belittle their achievements, damaging self-worth and independence.

The lack of empathy and unrealistic expectations foster an environment of fear and guilt. Long-term effects include attachment issues and difficulty setting boundaries. Healing requires acknowledging feelings, seeking professional help, and understanding narcissistic behavior.

How To Navigate a Relationship with a Narcissistic Mother

Maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic mother is tough, but these strategies can help:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Define what you’re comfortable with and stick to it.
2. Off-Limits Topics: Identify subjects that are off-limits to avoid conflict.
3. Structured Time: Schedule visits to manage expectations.
4. Praise Appropriately: Acknowledge positive actions to foster a better dynamic.
5. Stay Composed: Avoid emotional reactions to her unacceptable behavior.

These strategies can help you create a connection while protecting your well-being.

Don’t Be Afraid To Get Support

Talk to Someone Who Gets It

Find a friend, therapist, or support group where you can vent and get advice. Having someone who understands what you’re going through can be a lifesaver. It’s not whining; it’s self-preservation.

Self-Care is Non-Negotiable

Make self-care a priority. Exercise, meditate, read a book, or do whatever recharges your batteries. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so keep yours full.