How To Spot a Bad Relationship Before You Get Too Invested?

We’ve all been there—staring at someone who can’t even figure out basic communication and wondering, “How did I get here?”

Being in a relationship with the wrong person is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing screws. You start hopeful, you’ve got your toolbox ready, and then halfway through, you’re holding a lopsided shelf, thinking, “This is not what I signed up for.”

1. The “Too Busy to Text” Game: If They Can’t Respect Your Time, You’re Just a Placeholder

You know the drill. You text them something casual like, “Hey, what’s up?” and three days later, you get a response like, “Oh, sorry! Been swamped.” Swamped with what? Playing Angry Birds?

True story: I once dated a guy who literally would disappear for days. No texts, no calls, just radio silence. Then, like clockwork, he’d reappear with some lame excuse about being “so busy.” Busy with what, Brad? Training for the Olympics?

This is not rocket science, folks. When someone consistently blows off your time, they’re showing you how little they value you. The math isn’t hard.

If someone can’t even manage the decency of a “Hey, I’ll get back to you later,” they’re not worth sticking around for. Honestly, I’d rather watch paint dry than sit there waiting for them to magically realize my worth.

2. The Communication Brick Wall: Silent Treatment is Not a Negotiation Strategy

Listen, communication is the oxygen of relationships. And if your partner keeps choking the air out of every conversation with the silent treatment, you’re gonna suffocate.

I once dated someone who thought silence was the ultimate power move. Every time we had an argument, he’d go full ninja—vanishing into thin air. The man could ghost like it was his second job. And every time, I’d be left pacing around like, “Did I break him? Is he rebooting?”

Spoiler: He wasn’t. He was just emotionally unavailable.

Healthy relationships aren’t built on mind games. If you’re sitting there trying to decipher your partner’s next move, you’re not in a relationship—you’re in a psychological thriller. Nobody has time for that.

Communication should be about empathy and connection, not figuring out why they suddenly dropped off the face of the earth.

3. They Don’t Know What They Want (And Somehow, You’re Expected to Guess)

Let’s talk about those who have the emotional depth of a kiddie pool. You ask, “What do you want out of life? Out of us?” and they respond like you just asked them to solve a Rubik’s Cube.

Newsflash: If they don’t know what they want, you’ll be playing a never-ending game of emotional charades.

I once had a partner who, when asked about his life goals, said, “I’m just seeing where life takes me.” What does that even mean? Is he a leaf? Are we starring in The Notebook?

Without any direction, you’re just getting dragged into the chaos with them. You can’t expect clarity from someone who’s still lost at sea, figuring out if they even want to buy a boat in the first place.

Relationships need vision, purpose, and a mutual understanding of what you both want. Without it, you’re basically signing up for an emotional treadmill—lots of movement but no real progress.

4. Trust Issues: When Integrity is Missing, You’re Just Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Here’s a pro tip: If you’re constantly checking someone’s phone to “just make sure” they’re telling the truth, that’s your gut screaming that something’s off. And let me tell you, once trust is gone, it’s like trying to tape up a sinking ship.

I dated a guy who couldn’t tell a straight story if his life depended on it. It was like he believed half-truths were the new black.

One time, I caught him in a white lie about something small—like, “Did you eat the last slice of pizza?”—and it spiraled from there. Next thing I know, I’m questioning whether he even works at the job he says he has or if he’s secretly a professional pizza thief.

Trust is everything. Without it, you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next bomb to drop. And when integrity’s not part of the equation, it’s impossible to feel emotionally safe. You deserve someone who’s honest with you even when it’s not convenient for them.

Don’t Be the Emotional Handyman in a One-Sided Fixer-Upper

If you’ve ever tried to fix someone or thought, “Maybe if I just stick around a little longer, they’ll change,” I’m here to tell you: Nope. People aren’t projects. They don’t get better with more effort, attention, or love from you. They get better when they decide to do the work themselves.

Being with someone who can’t respect your time, who uses silence like a weapon, who doesn’t know what they want, or who can’t be trusted is exhausting. And you deserve better than being the emotional handyman in a one-sided fixer-upper of a relationship.

So next time you’re stuck wondering why you’re putting up with someone’s nonsense, ask yourself: “Is this person adding value to my life, or are they just taking up space?”

Because a healthy relationship shouldn’t feel like you’re constantly swimming upstream—it should feel like you’re building something strong, together, one brick at a time.

And if they can’t be bothered to bring the bricks? Well, my friend, it might be time to build elsewhere.