12 Things You Must Never Do After a Breakup

Breakups. Ugh.

There’s no smooth way to sugarcoat it, breakups are like stepping on LEGOs, barefoot, while also getting punched in the gut. Yeah, that’s bad.

But here’s the deal: while licking your wounds in the aftermath of a breakup is completely normal, there are some hard-and-fast rules you need to follow to avoid turning your life into a cringey breakup montage.

You want to come out of this breakup with your dignity intact, right? Right.

Here are 12 things you should absolutely NOT do after a breakup, because trust me, I’ve been there and done that—some of this advice is written in blood, sweat, and a few regrettable drunk texts.

1. Don’t Grovel For Another Shot. You’re Not That Desperate

Look, I get it. When someone dumps you, it’s like your whole self-worth takes a nosedive off a cliff. But crawling back, begging for them to reconsider? Hell no. You’re a human, not a lost puppy.

Besides, the last thing you want is for them to take you back out of pity. Pity love is worse than no love at all. So take a deep breath, delete their number for now, and put your dignity on ice—trust me, you’ll thank yourself later.

Don’t do it. Your brain will try to convince you that one peek at their Instagram won’t hurt. But before you know it, you’re 37 weeks deep, liking a photo of their breakfast from last year.

If you think that’s going to end well, you’ve never felt the sting of accidental double-taps. Hit that unfollow button like it’s the ejector seat.

I once scrolled through my ex’s profile for an hour, analyzing who liked their latest posts. Did I feel better? Nope. Did I end up spiraling into a pity party? Absolutely. Learn from my mistakes!

3. Rebounds Are Like Eating Taco Bell at 2 Am. It Feels Good Until It Doesn’t

Look, you wouldn’t go out and eat gas station sushi right after food poisoning, would you? Rebound relationships are like the fast food of romance—they fill a void but leave you feeling worse.

Take time to heal before you dive into anything new. There’s plenty of time to swipe right later.

4. Stop Sending Mutual Friends to Gather Intel. You’re Not James Bond

You run into a mutual friend, and suddenly you’re like a detective fishing for clues about your ex’s life. “So, how’s someone doing?” Trust me, they know what you’re doing, and it’s not cute. Mutual friends aren’t your personal gossip source.

5. No Matter How Sad You Are, Do Not Become a Couch Potato

Look, I’m all for some solid binge-watching and comfort food in the aftermath of a breakup, but there’s a fine line between self-care and self-sabotage. After a few days of moping, it’s time to shower, move your body, and stop pretending that Ben & Jerry are your therapists.

Self-care is a power move. Hit the gym, read a book, maybe even get a haircut—because looking like a gremlin isn’t going to help you feel better.

6. Hide Your Phone After a Few Drinks

Alcohol + phone = disaster. Let me save you the humiliation. That moment you hit “send” at 2 AM, thinking you’re being poetic? Nope. The only thing you’re doing is setting yourself up for regret. Hide your phone. Seriously.

I sent an ex a message so cringe-worthy that I deleted it after sobering up. Guess what? Too late, they’d already seen it. The shame, people, the shame!

7. Revenge Plots? a Waste of Time and Bad Karma

So, your ex did you dirty, and now all you can think about is sweet, sweet revenge. Well, put the scheming on pause, because here’s the harsh truth: revenge is a giant waste of energy.

You know what’s more satisfying than keying their car or burning their stuff? Moving on, living your best life, and showing them that they don’t live rent-free in your head anymore. Besides, karma’s way better at this revenge thing than you.

8. Don’t Become a Hermit. Seriously, People Need to See Your Face

Sure, some alone time after a breakup is necessary, but don’t turn into a recluse. Staying alone for too long turns into a cycle of sad Netflix binges and existential dread. Get out, see the sun, talk to people. Even a coffee run helps.

9. Fake It ‘Til You Make It? Nah, Just Be Real

You don’t need to slap on a fake smile for everyone. No one expects you to be over it in a week. Let yourself feel the feels. Cry if you need to. Scream into a pillow. Whatever works, just don’t bottle it up and pretend you’re okay.

I pretended I was fine after one breakup and ended up crying in the cereal aisle at the grocery store a month later. True story. Don’t wait for a breakdown in public—deal with your emotions early.

10. Don’t Rush Into the “Let’s Be Friends” Zone. It’s a Trap

“We can still be friends!” Ah, the famous last words of people who don’t realize how much this messes with your emotions. Newsflash: you can’t be friends right away. Space is your friend. Distance lets you heal. Maybe friendship can happen later, but for now? Hit pause.

11. Stop Clinging to Old Memories Like They’re Precious Gems

Those old texts, photos, and love notes aren’t keepsakes—they’re emotional kryptonite. Every time you look at them, you’re just throwing yourself back into the past, and you’re never going to move forward that way.

Stick them in a box, throw them out, or at least move them to the digital graveyard. Whatever you do, stop replaying your relationship highlight reel on repeat.

12. Don’t Say “Never Again” When It Comes to Love. You’re Being Dramatic

Right now, it feels like your heart’s been through a woodchipper, and you’ll never love again. But you will. The world’s full of people, and one day, someone better suited to you will come along. Until then, don’t declare yourself the next Bridget Jones.

Take your time, but keep the door open for future love. I once told my friends I was swearing off love forever. Two months later, I was back on dating apps. Never say never!

Don’t Make It Harder Than It Needs to Be

Breakups are tough, but they don’t have to be a total disaster. Avoid the temptation to make things worse with the 12 mistakes listed above. Instead, focus on yourself. Heal, grow, and become the badass version of you that you were always meant to be.

And if you make a mistake? That’s okay too. We’ve all sent a drunk text or eaten ice cream for dinner. Just learn from it and keep moving forward.