Hey, how are you feeling today? I hope you are feeling great about yourself today. But if not, know that it’s perfectly okay! too. I want to share something with you today that hopefully will help you pick yourself up.
It’s about loving yourself and building strong self-love foundations in your life.
And no, I will not be spelling out the magic steps that will immediately make you love yourself at an instant. There are no such things! It’s a process that you’ll need to go through.
Instead, I will be sharing the foundations of self-love which you can focus on as you make your own way to a life-changing journey.
- When you love yourself truthfully, it’s when you begin to fully understand and embrace both your strengths and vulnerabilities.
- Real self-love means accepting and embracing your imperfections, understanding they don’t define your worth, and being unapologetically yourself.
- You must nurture your mental well-being and address internal challenges with clarity and strength during your self-love process or else you go back to where you start.
Table of Contents
What Are Self-Love Foundations?
Self-love foundations are important practices and principles that will allow you to fully love yourself. They are like pillars that strengthen you in your self-love journey. These foundations act as your guide in building the monument of your self-love.
Knowing and understanding these foundations will help you understand yourself. And eventually, they will help you love yourself in the way you most deserve.
They say the greatest love that you could ever give in this world is the love that you’re going to give to yourself. I agree with that! But the thing about loving yourself is that you need to build it from the ground up.
You can’t have it right away in its purest form. You need to work for it! And the catch is that there is no blueprint that will tell you exactly how to do it.
And so, the foundation pillars of self-love are there to act as your compass that will surely make you love yourself for who you are, and be the best version of yourself.
Pillars of Self-Love Foundations
Self-Discovery
My science teacher once said that you cannot love something if you do not understand it. The words have been stuck in my head since then, and they gave me a good perspective on my self-love journey. It also gave the word “love” a more meaningful and heavier weight.
Self-discovery is not just knowing all the good things about you, the things you like, and the things that make you bright and happy. But, it is also knowing about your dark side, the things that make you sad, mad, and lonely, the stuff of life that you wouldn’t want any other people to know about.
When you discover your true self, believe me, it will be much easier to give it the love it truly deserves. This foundation pillar, I would say, should be the most solid out of all, as this is your core – your own, personal truth.
Mental Health
Love sprouts in a healthy and thriving environment. And the same with any other kind of love, self-love also flourishes when you have a sound, healthy well-being – and this includes your mental health.
This may be a sensitive topic, but here, I’d just like to emphasize the importance of mental health in the self-love journey.
The loud, resounding voices that usually wake you up in the middle of the night and tell you you’re not good enough or that you’re not doing anything right, will not do you any good in loving yourself. They will just push you down and detach you from all the beauty of yourself.
That is why learning how to efficiently manage your mental health is an important aspect of this journey. Don’t be ashamed to seek help when needed, because loving yourself means putting your well-being first.
Listening to Your Inner Cheerleader
We’re our most harsh critics, but we’re also our most effective cheerleaders. In your self-love journey, it’s very important to listen to your inner cheerleader rather than focusing on your inner critic.
Your inner critic will emphasize your faults and attack you on the things you failed to do, which will just lower your self-esteem and bring you down.
But your inner cheerleader will lift you up and encourage you to do better in the healthiest way. No shaming, and no guilt-tripping. It will just support you to become the best version of yourself.
What I’d like to say here is that focusing on your inner cheerleader is like having a kind of friend that you want to hang out with. It is your friend that highlights the positive things about yourself. When positive things are highlighted, it will definitely make it easier for you to love yourself for who you are.
Embracing Every Part of You
Another thing about giving love is that it doesn’t care about perfection. You don’t need to change anything to be worthy of love.
Self-love is a love that is unconditional. You don’t have to be skinny, or be wealthy, or be famous, or someone who is out of a magazine, to be worthy of experiencing love.
I learned that the hardest way, and honestly, it took me a while to build this foundation pillar. But embracing every inch of me makes me a stronger person than I was before.
Just like my experience, embracing every part of you will surely make you love yourself even more. And what’s more, is that it will also allow you to share love easily with the people around you.
Because how are you going to love somebody else, if you don’t know how to love yourself first, right? It’s a win-win situation!
Daring to Be Open
Loving yourself involves opening yourself to the possibility that it is possible. Don’t chase away the idea that love can bloom within you and that it can grow into something real and bigger.
But don’t be too hard on yourself! Remember that this is not an overnight process and it takes a lot of time, just like any other thing that is worth having.
Things will turn around eventually, and you will soon find yourself loving you more a little bigger each day. Again, believing takes half of the journey!
Drawing Your Non-Negotiable Lines
Just like any other kind of relationship, self-love involves healthy communication and putting up boundaries that will shelter you from being taken advantage of. Your environment has a great effect on your ability to love yourself.
Don’t be afraid to set your defenses up and learn to say no. It took me a while but I have learned that setting my boundaries means giving my energy, time, and any other personal resources only to things that truly matter.
Set healthy boundaries and you’ll find love within yourself easier.
Going All-In for Yourself
There is no more worthy of your time, energy, money, and love than yourself. Give yourself that peace of mind.
Eat another slice of pizza. Go to the nearest flower shop and pick yourself a flower. Schedule that full-body massage. Have another sip of that wine. Dance like no one is watching. Or, just snuggle under a blanket and allow yourself to just exist. Do all the things that make you feel loved, and do not ever be guilty about it.
Make the choice that will make your life a little bit better and healthier. But of course, not at the expense of other people.
Remember that the best investment you could ever have is the one that you invest for yourself. So, go for it and go hard on it!
Prioritizing Your Daily Recharge
You cannot really love yourself fully if you are always drained and exhausted. The world is too fast-paced and it’s entirely okay to pause, stop, and breathe for a moment.
One important thing in a self-love journey is allowing yourself to feel exhausted and giving yourself the time to recharge.
Keep in mind that you are not a machine. You are a person who gets stressed and worn out just like everyone else, and your personal battery needs to be recharged from time to time.
And so, always take time to energize both your mind and your body, daily. This is the only sustainable way that you’ll be able to love yourself amidst your daily grind, without you losing yourself piece by piece.
Unapologetically You
And the last foundation pillar of self-love is being you – unapologetically, you. Strip away the weight of what society has forced you to be and open your one and only, true self.
Don’t get this wrong, but this is not becoming different entirely. This is you being empowered to show and express yourself without the fear of being judged and ridiculed for what you really are.
Remind yourself that even though hate is still prevalent, there is still love and good in humanity. You will be accepted, seen, understood, heard, and feel that you truly belong.
I know this can be scary but remember that loving yourself also means giving yourself validation, even though some may not approve of it. You don’t have to please everyone, and the only approval you need is yours.
So, push away what others think about you and love yourself the way you know you truly deserve. Shine your own ray of light, and who knows, this may also reach other people and inspire them to love themselves.
How Do You Build a Strong Foundation of Self-Love?
Here are a few actionable suggestions for laying your foundation on how to practice self-love so that your relationship can bloom:
1. Take Responsibility for What Happens in Your Life
No one likes to feel like a victim, whether or not the threats are perceived or real. Even if you don’t feel like you can completely change a situation, take steps in your life around the things you can change.
You can start with:
- Prioritize mental health by acknowledging your emotions, seeking support when needed
- Take charge of your schedule by writing it out the week or night before
- Set goals for yourself so that you do what you say you will
- Have rewards (or consequences) set up for yourself so that you’re held accountable
These actions create a strong foundation when it comes to taking personal responsibility in your life, and make it easier overall to master your goals.
2. Pursue Your Passions
In order to build self-love, it’s crucial to pursue your passions, joys, and dreams outside of your romantic relationship. Engaging in activities that make you happy strengthens your sense of identity and fulfillment.
Some ways to help jumpstart your passions may include:
- Reading a book about something you’re interested in
- Reaching out to an expert in a field that you want to learn more about
- Watching a YouTube tutorial that gets you started on learning something new
- Creating a “wish list” of things to purchase or gather to get started on your hobby
- Going to a seminar or retreat that inspires you to take action on your dreams.
3. Learning to Say No to Things That Make You Unhappy
If you have a hard time saying no, it means that you’re not clear on (or don’t really respect) your personal boundaries. So it’s essential to prioritize your own needs and understand that it’s okay to say no sometimes.
By doing so, you’re respecting your own feelings and nurturing a sense of self-worth. This, in turn, fosters a healthier relationship by allowing you to better communicate with your partner and maintain a sense of self.
Saying no can look like a few different things:
- Letting someone know that you’re busy
- Telling your partner that you’re interested, but it’s not the right time
- Thanking someone for an invitation and then politely declining
- Offering a compromise that better suites your needs
Building Yourself Up One Foundation at a Time
In my journey of self-exploration, I’ve come to realize that the path to genuine self-love isn’t a straight one, it’s filled with twists, turns, and valuable lessons.
But what remains constant is my ability to understand and embrace myself. Just as I’ve pushed my way, you too have the strength to do the same.
I want you to remember that every stumble or uncertainty you may face is an opportunity for you to be stronger and become more aware of your feelings and emotions.
I encourage you to reflect on the foundations I wrote about in this article and find your unique rhythm to loving yourself. As you move forward, let’s continue this conversation, growing and evolving together.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the core principles of self-love foundations?
The core principles encompass self-discovery, mental health, authenticity, boundaries, and self-care.
How does self-discovery impact your self-love?
Self-discovery impacts your self-love by allowing you to fully understand and embrace all facets of yourself.
Why is mental health emphasized in your self-love journey?
Mental well-being is important to the way you love yourself because it makes sure you cultivate love from clarity and strength.
How can you embrace your imperfections in the context of self-love?
Embracing imperfections means recognizing they don’t define your worth. It’s about celebrating your authentic self.
What role do boundaries play in your self-love?
Boundaries safeguard you from negative influences and prioritize your well-being. They are important for maintaining your self-respect.
