There was a time when I would’ve done anything to keep the peace. I walked on eggshells, second-guessed my every word, and twisted myself into something unrecognizable just to avoid the fights.
I told myself they’d change. That if I just proved my worth and be successful, they’d finally see me. But they never did. And they never would.
That’s the thing about narcissists . . . they don’t fear losing you. They fear losing control over you.
The moment I stopped playing their game, the moment I stopped feeding their ego, they turned on me. The kind words became daggers. The admiration became contempt. And suddenly, I was the enemy.
At first, I questioned everything. What had I done wrong? Why did they hate me now? But then, I realized, if a narcissist hates you, it means you’re doing something right.
Table of Contents
They Trained You to Stay, But You Didn’t
A narcissist doesn’t just hurt you, they train you. Slowly, methodically.
Every insult was wrapped in a joke. Every fake apology is designed to keep you hooked. They condition you to rely on them, to crave their approval, to doubt your own instincts.
For a while, I played my role perfectly.
I bent over backward trying to be the person they wanted me to be. But no matter how hard I tried, it was never enough.
They always found a reason to criticize, to withhold affection, to remind me that I wasn’t worthy. Then, one day, something in me snapped.
Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was the realization that nothing I did would ever be enough. Or maybe I just got sick of living for a family who would never be happy no matter what I did.
So I walked away. And that’s when the real battle began.
You Stopped Playing Their Game
Narcissists don’t just let you go. They need your reactions. They need your pain, your confusion, your desperate attempts to make things right because that’s how they control you.
At first, I fell for it. The fake remorse, the manipulation, the guilt-tripping. I almost went back, almost convinced myself that maybe this time would be different.
But then, I did something they never expected. I stopped explaining. Stopped reacting. Stopped caring.
And let me tell you . . . that broke them.
Because when you stop feeding their ego, they starve. And when they realize they no longer have power over you, they panic. The insults get nastier, the manipulation gets more desperate.
But the moment you refuse to engage? The moment you refuse to give them what they want?
They lose.
Their Words Mean Nothing Now
There was a time when their words could shatter me.
One insult could send me spiraling. One moment of affection could make me forget years of cruelty. They convinced me I was unlovable, that I was a failure, that I was the problem.
And for too long, I believed them.
But then, something shifted. Their words stopped feeling like truth and started sounding like what they really were. Desperation. Lies. A last-ditch attempt to claw their way back into my head.
Now?
They call me selfish; I smile.
They say I’m a failure; I laugh.
They paint me as the villain, I don’t even flinch.
Because when a narcissist can no longer control you, they try to control how others see you. But the thing is, what they say doesn’t matter. What they think doesn’t matter.
The only thing that matters is that you’re free.
The Game Is Over. And This Time, You Win
Narcissists don’t hate you because you did something wrong. They hate you because you stopped letting them win.
They built their entire identity on the illusion that they are powerful, that they are in control.
But the moment you realize they were never powerful, that the control was only ever an illusion, the whole game falls apart.
And this time? They’re the ones left questioning everything.
So if a narcissist hates you, let them. Their hatred isn’t proof that you failed. It’s proof that you finally got it right.
My Take!
Leaving a narcissist isn’t easy. It’s messy, painful, and full of moments where you doubt yourself.
I’ve been there many years ago! Thank God that time of my life is over!
And they don’t just let you walk away. They fight. They guilt-trip. They push every button they install on you, hoping you’ll break.
But what if you hold your ground like I did? What if you refuse to go back? What If you keep choosing yourself?
They fade into nothing.
So if they hate you, congratulations, my friends! Because that’s how you know you’re finally free.
